With Adele recently winning 6 grammy's, I figured it was time to post the best Adele cover song you will ever hear.  This is my buddies band, King Kelly.  For more songs check out: http://www.facebook.com/kingkellymusic

22 seconds into this video one of the announcers screams, "I just had an out-of-body experience!" 

While this guy is having an out-of-body experience, the other announcer screams "Tombstone" about 4 times while stroking himself gently.  
    I know what you are saying to yourself.  I too, had an out-of-body experience while watching this video and also started to stroke myself gently.  I mean seriously, who would ever think anybody could survive the Undertakers finishing move: The Tombstone.
    And yes, his opponent Sean Michaels did get nice after this match. Obviously, any guy that can survive a Tombstone drop is destined to get nice with one of the hillbilly women in the crowd after the match. 

Maybe next time the Undertaker should shove his ballsack closer to his opponents face.

  The video above is of future NFL star Chris Mclinic.  He is only 7 years old, therefore he has been getting nice since 2004.  When he steps on the football field all of the other kids run for their mommy's teet.  After watching this video several times in awe of this kids skills, I started to wonder if he really is a 7 year old boy?  What if he is just the worlds tiniest 30 year old man-beast pretending to be 7 years old?  How would I find out?

Well, I decided to take a trip to Maryland to meet with Chris.

Chris met me at the airport on a cold Friday in November this past year.  I walked off the plane and immediately spotted him near the exit doors.  With a cigarette dangling from his mouth he yelled out to some girl passing by, "Ayo girl, come to my game this Sunday and I'll sign yo tits."  Thats when I said to myself,"Definitely man-beast."

to be continued......

In order to survive Bear Grylls sometimes (most of the time) takes outdoor survival techniques to the next level.  I have seen him drink his own piss, eat bear shit, and fuck a dead llama (just to get his nut off) on his reality show "Man Vs. Wild"  The following video, however, takes the taco.  Please watch this video.  This is how Bear Grylls Gets Nice.

I was inspired to post this collection of family xmas pics when I received one in the mail today from a distant relative.  They are always the same.  Pictures of people in front of a tree, wearing some type of christmas apparel.  I looked at the card I recieved today and realized I dont even know who some of these fucking people are or how they are related to me.  At first I thought it was ridiculous and couldnt get any worse.  That was until I searched the internet for similar pics and this is what I found.

The Kardarshians:  Biggest douchebags on the planet

I assume this professionally taken pic cost a ridiculous amount of money.  It's ok though, Kim probably used the money she recieved from her failed wedding to pay for this.  I wonder if they sent one to Kris Humphries?

Pic taken from random xmas party

I have to admit, I wouldnt mind getting this in the mail.  These people are just getting nice.  Although, they probably should have told the kids to leave the room while Aunt Jakwanda spread her ass open in front of everyone.

Almost Naked Family Photo

Umm I dont really feel comfortable posting this.  This card should be forwarded on to the Divison of Family Youth Services (DYFS)

Creepy Cat Guy

If this cat could talk he would probably say, "Please save me from the daily rapings I have had to endure from my creepy owner."  His new years resolution is to get the balls to escape out the back door while his owner is jerking off to cat porn on the internet.

People dressed as Christmas Bears?

Poor kid is smiling now because he is too young to realize what a couple of maniacs his parents are for dressing the family up like this.  One day when he grows up he will probably murder his family while they are sleeping/hibernating.

Riskay - Lemme smell your dong

Why you coming home five in the mone
Somethings going on can I smell yo dong??
Don’t play me like a fool cause dat ain’t cool
So what you need to do is let me smell yo dong

I cant even tell you how many times this has happened to me.  Every chick I have been with has asked to smell my dong at 5 a.m.  Typical women. 

Puff Daddy - No Way out Album

Young black and famous,
with money hangin out my anus.

When I first listened to thing song in 8th grade I just thought P diddy  was cool, including anything he said.  After hearing this song today and this particular lyric I realized it's not really cool at all. I thought to myself "I dont care how much money I make.  I dont ever want money hanging out of my anus.  It would be covered in ass pubes and shit, therefore making it useless."

Nas - Dr. Knockboot

The do's and don'ts, that should happen in the bed
First, DO: hit positions she will find interestin
DON'T: hit the pussy if that shit's blisterin
Yo Do: get a yes confirmation before penetration
You wind up in a police station
DON'T: get with no young bitch and hit it
She PG-13, you rated R, she not permitted

Nothing to really add here.  Nas gives some good advice for getting nice.

2 Live Crew - Pop That Pussy

I like the way you lick the champagne glass
It makes me wanna stick my dick in your ass

I use this line often and it works every time.  Thanks 2 Live Crew.

Company Christmas Party

This is a tricky one.  You wanna drink your balls off and get nice without throwing up in the cab ride home that your company paid for.  You also don't want to get drunk, run up to your buddy, and slap him on the ass while he is talking to the CEO of your firm.  Then try to play it off that you tripped and bumped into him by apologizing for bumping and tripping into him as the CEO watches you dig yourself deeper and deeper until he finally walks away while glaring at you in utter disgust. (In my defense, it was an open bar so it really wasnt my fault)

(the guys pictured above definitely had sex after this party.....with each other)

Ugly Sweater Party

If you go to one of these parties you are a gay.  If someone invites you to one of these parties you should respond with "Im trying to get nice, not get gay.  Thanks for the invite though."

Holiday Party with friends

Probably the best time to get nice without having to worry about embarassing yourself.  That is unless you get so drunk that you puke all over yourself in the middle of taking a picture.  That is not me in the picture above so I can't take credit for any related story.  However, what I can tell you is that the Asian guy in this picture did not get nice that night.

GettingNice.com